Originally Posted by Mike O
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Well - I stopped by Bucket's course yesterday on my way up to Maine. Hit some balls on the range with the 12 piece - sweetest swing - power shots down the range- he didn't hit it bad either. Towards the end of the practice session after I mentioned that I like to play the ProV1x ball, he mentioned there were alot of those at the back of the range in the tree line. I really had my doubts but he was so convincing that before I knew it we were out of the cart and walking in the tree line - bam! - he says "Look over there- ProV1x!" - as I leaned down to pick it up I felt something hard on my backside- not realizing that it was the back of a stick that I had stepped on the front of - I snapped and whipped my fully loaded power package maximum accumulator particapation pivot powered 9 iron around with a lagging sweetspot - both powerful and accurate - it was like a hot knife cutting through a grease soaked Kentucky fried chicken bucket! Now, I had two severe problems- 1) The damn Ping S-59 9 iron had twisted and I had a helluva time getting it out of his skull and 2) He was still breathing with a look like Ned Beatty in the Deliverance - now I needed to decide if I should take him to the hospital or with only 1 hour of daylight left- collect the rest of the ProV1x's and finish my practice session. I thought to myself - what would most forum members do in this situation? It became obvious to me instantly that I should collect the balls and head back up to the range to work on my game more. As darkness fell over the course- I headed back to the end of the range to take him to the hospital but he had already past'd on - I had to think quickly now as panic surged through my body - he was too heavy to drag anywhere- and how would I make it look like an accident? Luckily there was some rope in the back of the cart and I tied it around one of his legs and started dragging his body around the course - man it was a blast- you should have seen him whipping around the back of the cart- going around corners- bouncing off sand traps- that mother was flying!! I left him and the cart in the parking lot around midnight- nice course though- if you get a chance you should try to play it.
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This is in fact a true story. However I would like to submit a couple of amendments. Mike thinks that yellow ranges balls with stripes are Pro V 1 x's . . . not sure exactly what the folks at his "club" have been telling him . . . but he sure did have a bag full of them when he arrived. And upon seeing the yellow piles of range rocks that he believed to be the motherload of Pro V's . . . I'm pretty sure he let a little pee go down the leg of his shorts.
It was really dark in the woods when he went after the "Pro V's" . . . that thing he was hitting with a 7 iron was actually a sheep. I think he left a few things out of the story prior to dragging the lil' lamb around in the cart. But I'll let that remain unsaid at this point.
We REALLY did meet and hit some balls. I told him to meet me at the club. I had never seen him/her before. But I knew upon arrival that it was the infamous Mike O. He was double parked at the back of the parking lot . . . purple Vega with spinners, no doors . . . he was sitting in the front seat holding a 9-volt battery on his tongue . . . . looking at a JC Penny catalogue circa 1981 . . . WITH NO PANTS ON. At least he was on his best behavior. His personalized plate said "4NiK8OR".
We hit balls and after the whole sheep episode he wanted some Sprite. He kept slapping the waitresses on the azz yelling "Nice game Kobe!" Then he went to the little girls room where he proceeded to upper deck the first stall . . . and then he was gone . . . vanished . . . the only evidence left was a trail of toilet paper and yellow "Pro-V's" to the parking lot.
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